Lost In Pain
by Remy Alvera
Summary: Clara West is broken after losing her parents, and she has no choice but to go live with her Aunt, however things don't get better for Clara. She stays a shell of her former self, and all her Aunt can do it move them to the small town known as Forks and hope for the best. If only she knew... Jasper/OC
1. Introduction

Intro: Pain

"_One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside." _

― John Lennon

Pain, some people cannot stand pain, but me, I was born into it, and I'm used to it, to the gaping hole that is in my chest where my heart used to be. I never had this hole when I was younger, but when I lost my parents, I lost my heart. When they died I was sent to live with my Aunt, and life was hard on all of us, I was broken after their deaths, so my Aunt couldn't even bring up their names without me breaking down into a strange form of a panic attack. Whenever someone brings them up it's like I feel the pain all over again, like someone reached into my chest, and pulled my heart out, I can't move or talk, my body just shuts down and I fall to the ground sobbing like a child who got lost in the supermarket. Things were bad like this for a long time before we moved, she thought it would be best if we got away from the town I was born in and started over, if we got away from the house where my parents fell in love and started a life together in.

So we had moved to New York for a few years, it was nice for such a big city, we were there for about a year before my Aunt, who was a brilliant artist, took a job in Forks, Washington, one of the smallest, rainiest towns known to many kind. I didn't understand why she chose to want to go and work in that tinny tiny little town, but I didn't really care anymore, I was dead inside. It had been two and a half years since my parents died, and through I was good at hiding how empty and broken I really was, I didn't care anymore. I used school to escape my everyday life, and homework and chores to keep myself from thinking too much, because if I started to think about the past and my parents…I would become even more broken.

We moved in the middle of my junior year at high school, which meant not only would I be the new girl, but I would also be the new girl in the middle of the school year. Oh joy.

My name is Clara West, and this is my story.

**A/N: Just a little intro to all of this, and my OC's back story! I'm not quite sure if this should take place during the Twilight Saga or after, but if your guys review and leave suggestions I would love the help, and it would motivate me to post the next chapter sooner :) The pairing will be Jasper/OC, and as the story goes he and his family will slowly help her with the pain, but it will be a big part in the story ;) **

**-Remy**


	2. Chapter One: Scars

**Chapter One:** Scars

"_Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real."_

_― Cormac McCarthy_

Clara didn't like the idea of moving again, not that she really cared anymore, because she knew no matter where she went her parents would never be there again, that all she would ever have would be her Aunt who was always so wrapped up in her art projects to worry too much about Clara, not that she was shocked, her Aunt had never wanted children, so of course she wouldn't have been very thrilled about getting her when her parents died, but then again no one was happy about her parents dying, and if anyone was they were sick and twisted.

Moving hadn't bothered her too much; it was just the fact about where they were moving. Clara remembered her Aunt telling her that they had moved to a big city like New York to get away from small towns, and she had promised Clara that they would never have to live in a small town again. Her aunt lied. After nearly a year and a half in New York, Clara's aunt had announced they would be moving to the small, rainy town known as Forks. They had packed everything up, abandoned more memories and friends, and left without a second thought. It had been a long car ride to the air port, and then ended up being a long plane ride, followed by another long car ride until they had gotten to their new house, which ironically was right next to the towns Chief of Police's house.

Her Aunt had paid someone to move all of their stuff into their house and they had even went as far as to unpack nearly everything and set it all up, but Clara had asked that they leave all of her boxes untouched and just set up her bed and dresser, through she was sure that she would just end up moving everything around to her liking, she didn't want to have to really set up those things herself, she was much too lazy for that. Clara stepped out of her aunt's old lime green punch buggy and onto the leaf covered ground.

Dark clouds hung over head and it was clear that it had rained a few short hours ago, because everything was still damp the the trees still dripped down small droplets whenever the wind shook the branches. "Clara, once you get your bags up stairs we'll ho over and see Charlie!" Her Aunt called from inside the house, not even bothering to see if she needed any help with anything or any of her bags. Clara sighed and pulled her two suit cases out and started to head into the two story house that was packed full of old junk left from the previous owners.

She lugged her suit cases into the house, up the stairs, and into her room. The walls were painted a dark brown with book shelves on each wall. She was a big reader; she found it as a good was to escape, so she always had tons of them everywhere, in their old apartment Claire had turned half of the rooms into library's, books were the only things she ever seemed to be compassionate about anymore. Claire moved across the room at the slow, tired pace, and set her bags down by the window.

The room was a big step up from her old room, and it was rather large. Her queen size bed lay in the middle of the room with quite bed spread, book shelves littered all of the walls and a desk sat by one window facing the road, the other window had been made into a window seat with two book shelves on each side of it. The window faced the sheriff's house and part of the forest.

Slowly she turned around towards the door, and forced herself to hold in a sigh. Boxes lay in every direction, unorganized and demanding to be unpacked. Clara ran a hand through her unwashed dark brown hair as she worked her way through the maze of boxes and out the door, back down the stairs, and back outside. Her Aunt stood at a halfway point between the two houses, talking to a man with dark hair, a mustache and a Police uniform on. Beside him stood a pale girl with brown curly hair and pale skin, she wore a long sleeved brown shirt and jeans. Slowly Clara made my way towards them, taking slow and calm steps until she stood beside her Aunt.

"Clara, there you are! This is Charlie and his daughter Bella; they live right next to us!" Her aunt said smiling fondly at Charlie, which made Clara want to roll her eye's, looks like her Aunt had a crush. "Hi.." She mumbled offering them both an awkward wave. Charlie nodded his head in her direction, and then turned back towards her Aunt, clearly as interested in her as she was in him. Bella sent a warm yet equally awkward smile towards Clara before speaking. "So what do you think of forks?" She said making her laugh emotionlessly. "It's rainy." Clara said plainly with a shrug that made Bella chuckle. "Yeah I know, I just moved here to, I start school tomorrow." She said as her eyes darted towards a bright orange beat up truck that was sitting in Charlie's drive way, which must have been hers. "Yeah me too…dose a bus come by here or..?" Clara trailed off and glanced back over towards her Aunts car.

There was no way she would be caught driving that thing to school. Bella shrugged and cleared her throat. "No..not really.." She also looked towards my Aunts car, grimaced, and smiled at Clara once more. "I'd be happy to give you a lift to school through." Bella said, most likely understanding how she felt about the little punch buggy. Clara called it Bug.

"That'd be great." She said with a small smile. Bella nodded and said something about five AM, and then she walked away back towards her house with her father. Clara had already made a friend. Brilliant.

**A/N: Okay so don't get out your pitch forks yet please? I know I haven't updated in like, forever, and I _do _deserve to be chased down the street by you all while you wave your pitch forks and torches, but really who would get joy out of that? Wait.. no don't answer that..**

**Anyway I think I'm going to be writing most of this story in first person, because I kept messing up and going from third to first in one sentence, and I want you all to be able to see what Clara is really thinking, so this chapter will be one of the very few in third person.**

**Also, now that it's summer, I will have way more time to post up chapters, I actually have two written for after this one, I'm just in the process of editing each of them, tomorrow chapter two WILL be up, I just need a few reviews to help my editing skills ;)**

**-Remy**


	3. Chapter Two: Starting Over

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters other than my OC's **

**Note: This chapter will be written in first person, and the following chapters may alternate between first and third person. Enjoy. **

Chapter Two: The Start

"_Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending"_

― Carl Brad

My day started out with rain, not that it should be shocking that it was raining first thing in the morning in a town like Forks, but of course it was. My alarm clock went off at four thirty, but hadn't needed it because I hadn't been graced by sleep that night, this big old house was quite, big and unsettling, and of course it was nothing like our old apartment, so how my Aunt expected me to be able to sleep peacefully was beyond me, but I didn't protest, it would only ruin the happy little bubble she had formed around herself. The minute my alarm had gone off I had jumped out of my bed and all crawled to the bathroom down the hall, where I showered and got dressed in a pair of black jeans and a gray long sleeved shirt and dried my hair so it lay in its soft, natural curls.

For a moment I was at ends with myself, I hadn't worn makeup in nearly a year, mostly because I couldn't be bothered by it, I never really had time for something as simple as makeup, but when I did ware it I looked a little less dead and a bit more...alive. I was starting over in this town, so I wanted to at least look decent on my first day of school and not look like a club member of Undead Social, that wouldn't be a good way to start over. Making up my mind I went back into my room and pulled out the makeup my Aunt had gotten for me last Christmas in hopes that I would actually ware it.

I pulled out the mascara and the light brown eye shadow before going back into the bathroom down the hall and kicking the door shut behind me. After I had applied the eye shadow and then the mascara I took a small step back and took in my appearance. I often didn't look in the mirror because I looked almost exactly like my mother, other than the fact that I had my dad's crystal blue eyes. For the first time in years I actually looked alive, other than my horribly pale skin of course. My hair looked clean and shiny, and my clothes weren't baggy and unappealing, my Aunt had sold nearly all of those kinds of clothes to Good Will without my permission before we left. Go Figure.

The eye shadow and mascara made my crystal blue eyes look as if they glowed against my pale skin and dark hair, and they made my full lips look pinker than normal. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, because I wasn't going to look much better than this, and then headed back into the room to put on my black and white converse, grab my phone and back pack and head down stairs where I was greeted to the smell of eggs and bacon. "Morning Aunt Ellen." I mumbled while opening the fridge and pulling out the orange juice. "Morning Clara, do you want some eggs before you head to school?" My Aunt offered me a smile but I saw her eyes dart over to the unfinished painting sitting in the corner of the room, so a shook my head and grabbed a piece of toast as a horn went off in front of our house. "No thanks, my ride is here." I said while nearly running out of the house and up to Bella's truck. "Hey Bella, sorry if I kept you waiting." I said casually jumping up through the open door and into the passenger side of her truck.

Bella smiled at me and waved off my moment and then off we went, both of us starting school in the middle of the school year, on the bright side we always had each other, even if I was broken. Soon enough we pulled up to the school and into the first parking spot we saw, both of us wearing grimaces on our faces. "Hey I have to go down to the office and get my schedule, so I see you later alright?" I said glancing back at Bella and offering a weak smile, which she returned. "Yeah, I hope we have some classes together." She said glancing around as my hand rested on the door handle. "Yeah, meet me before first bell and we'll compare them, alright? " She said gripping her own door handle as if it was a life line. "Yeah you bet. See you in a few." I mumbled opening the door and sliding out of the truck. As soon as my shoes made contact with the wet pavement I knew this was a bad idea, going to a public school instead of home schooling, I could tell that by doing this I would only be reminded of my parents death, people would want to know more about me, and they would be asking questions, and sooner or later, it would come up, and the pain would be to much to stand and I would have a panic attack and be labeled a freak all over again.

_It's too late to turn back now…_

I sighed and traded my sluggish pace for a faster one, so I made it to the front office in half the time I would normally take. "Hello dear, how can I help you?" The large woman behind the desk asked as she offered one of those 'to kind' smiles. "Hi…I'm Clara Reed; I'm here for my schedule." I said glancing around awkwardly at the overly decorated office. The woman laughed loudly and nodded, making her large ear rings swing back and forth so far I was scared for a moment that one of them would smack her in the nose. "Of course you are! I have it right here, along with a map so you don't get lost." The woman handed two papers to me before turning around and pulling a smaller paper out from one of the stacks and handing it to me as well. "I need you to get all of your teachers to sign this one and then you just have to bring it back to me at the end of the day, okay?" She smiled before shooing me out of the office so I wouldn't be late to my first period, but the bell had already rung. I rolled my eyes as I walked down the now empty hallway and towards my first period.

Room 502, which was across campuses and at the very end of the hallway, I peeked in through the small glass window to see everyone working and talking quietly as the teacher sat at his desk and read a book with the words on the cover printed in bold: **FACT OR FICTION. **I wanted to laugh at the fact that an English teacher would be reading a book filled with complete and utter nonsense. I cracked open the door and slowly slipped inside, but as soon as the door opened all eyes were on me. I cringed and nearly tripped over my own feet as I made my way the the teachers desk, but I made it there without falling on my face, so it wasn't all bad. "Can I help you?" The man said lazily looking up from his book and at me. "Um…I'm Clara Reed…I'm kind of…new here." I said while shrugged and daring a glance around the room. "Oh yes, do you have the paper I need to sign?" I held the small form out for him, and as soon as it was in his hand he smirked up at me. "Why don't you introduce yourself to the class?" He said, making it clear that there was no way I could deny the 'offer'.

My eyes narrowed a fraction before I spun around and waved awkwardly at the kids on front of me. "Hi, I'm Clara Reed, I moved from New York with my Aunt, I love to read and I have a strong policy against stalkers, so I'm not going to give any of you my address, through I'm sure in a town as small as this one, I don't need to introduce myself to you all." I turned back around and raised an eyebrow at my teacher, who looked a bit irked at my interdiction. "Just go sit down my Emmett." He grumbled before turning back to his book. I flashed an empty smile at him before turning around and heading towards the only empty seat in the room. The guy I would be sitting next to was…well beautiful. He had pale white skin and dark brown curly hair, but what stood out the most were his golden eyes. He reached over and moved his books out of the seat beside him. "Hi." I said quietly while sitting down beside him. Emmett flashed me a dazzling smile that showed off his perfectly white teeth before offering a hand for me to shake. "Hey there, I'm Emmett Cullen." The moment my hand made contact with his a shiver shot up my spine and I felt like I had just stuck my hand in a bucket of ice. His hand was nearly as cold as snow even through the room was warmer than any of the school rooms in New York. "I'm Clara Reed, nice to meet you Emmett." I said letting go of his hand and pulling out my English book from my bag.

**. . .**

After first period I had two friends in this small school, Bella Sawn and Emmett Cullen, and I was rather proud of myself, being all friendly to people wasn't something I was used to, but it was a nice change and it helped to get my mind off of things when I was around other people. So far I only had one class with Bella and Emmet, but I would have Gym with Bella and Art with Emmett, so I wouldn't be completely alone during the day. At the moment I was in lunch with Bella and her new group of friends, who all seemed to welcome me happily. Everyone else sat down with their lunch trays while I set a book down in front of me. It was one of my favorite, Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, it was one of the books I kept by my bed in case I couldn't sleep at night, it was something my mom used to do, both of my parents had always read before they went to bed at night, just like me, but they had also kept their favorite books right by their bed in case they couldn't sleep or woke from a night terror and needed something familiar to smooth themselves, it had been the book my mom had always kept by her bedside, through I wasn't sure why it would sooth her, I always kept it with me because she had loved it so much.

I frowned at the relation that my parents had been a recurring thought today, and tried to forces in on the conversation that was being held up by the people around me. "Who are they?" Bella said, breaking the conversation between Jessica and Angela and making everyone turn towards the door to the cafeteria. I was the last to look up and towards the doors, and I was greeted with the site of Emmet walking with a beautiful blonde hand in hand. That was cute, they looked perfect for each other and she had the same perfect pale skin and golden eyes. "They're Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's foster kids, they moved down here from Alaska, like, a few years ago." Jessica said while picking at her food. "They kind of just keep to themselves." Angela said quietly leaning forward a bit so we could hear her, however Jessica didn't seem to understand the meaning of a whisper, or pick up on the need to speak in hushed tones, so she kept talking in her rather loud, annoying voice. "Yeah because their all together, like together, together." She said with a large smile, it was clear she got a kick out of gossip. "The blonde girl, that's Rosalie, and the big dark haired guy, Emmett, their, like, a thing…I'm not even sure that's legal." Jess made a disgusted made and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Jess, they're not actually related." Angela spoke seeing my expression. "Yeah, but they live together, it's weird!" She glanced back over her shoulder and kept speaking before anyone could cut in. "And, okay, the little dark haired girl is Alice. She's really weird-"I looked back up from my book and towards the small dark haired girl that could have only been a few inches smaller than me, and frowned again. "She doesn't look weird." I mumbled to myself cause Alice, who wasn't even close to our table, look towards me and smile. "-She's with Ezra, the tall guy with blonde hair." The guy was taller than Alice, but not taller than most boys, his hair stuck up in different directions but he had a really happy look in his eyes and he held Alice's hand loving, it was cute.

I did, however, notice that they both had the same pale skin and golden eyes as all of the other Cullen's, which doesn't make sense if their all foster kids. "Dr. Cullen is like this, foster day slash match maker." Jess said smiling as Angela said something about being adopted as well, but I wasn't paying attention anymore because of the person I saw coming in behind Alice and Ezra. "Who's that?" Bella and I said at the same time, but neither of us spared a look at one another, we were both focused in on the two boys entering the cafeteria, and hopefully we weren't looking at the same boy. "That's Edward Cullen and Jasper Hale, they're both totally gorgeous, obviously, but apparently nobody here's good enough of either of them. Like I care, ya know?" She said with a fake laugh that made me want to laugh for the first time in a long time. _Sounds like someone was rejected_ I thought with a small smirk, and I didn't miss the small laugh that escaped Edward as he passed by our table. I turned around and raised an eyebrow but I didn't question it. I shut my book and slipped it back into my bag before standing up and slinging it over my shoulder. "Hey I'm gonna head out, I'll see you later Bella." I mumbled quickly walking out of the loud room and to my next class.

When the bell rang I was trying to figure out how to open the locker I had been given, it was near my art class, but the stupid door just wouldn't open, no matter how many times I put it the code or banged on the door. My face screwed up in annoyance and I was about to give up on it when a large white hand came out of nowhere and banged on the locker door, making it fly open and a small folded up piece of paper fly out and bounce off my fore head. I blinked a few times before turning around to face Emmett who was grinning like a proud child who had managed to get the lid off of the cookie jar. "Thanks Emmett, I owe you." I said offering a smile before turning back around and stuffing a few of my heavier books into the locker as he came up beside me and leaned on the locker next to my own. "So how do you like your first day so far?" He said with a raised brow. I shrugged while trying to lazily organize the book that now lay on the bottom of my locker. "It's been alright, so far too much gossip I guess." I said the last part more to myself, but Emmett seemed to understand what I was talking about. "Some people just don't know enough information about certain subjects, so they improvise." He said his grin never flattering as I shut my locker and glanced down at the map of the school I had been nearly hugging to my chest all day. "Anyway, I was ordered to come and bring you to class, we were worried you would be lost on your way to art, this building it numbered wrong." He pointed towards room 715, and then to 731 before speaking again. "These rooms were switched last year, instead of going to art you would end up in Algebra, now wouldn't that be traumatic." I couldn't help but smile again as I allowed Emmett you lead my away. "Why would they switch the rooms?" I asked ignoring the strange looks that were sent at us as we walked. "Um..Hard to say it might have had something to do with a table that split in half…but hey you know…stuff happens." He said with a shrug and a chuckle.

I smiled weakly and nodded. "Yeah…so this is it? Room 731?" I asked pointing the the wooden door. Emmett nodded and held the door open for me. "After you, the teacher is going to make you sit with my sister, brother and myself, I hope you don't mind." He smiled at me again as we walked into the room. "Please Emmett, how could anyone not want to sit with you? You're like a giant teddy bear." I laughed as we went separate ways, me towards the teacher's desk and him towards his seat. After the teacher, Mrs. Ollie, signed my paper, she sent me over to sit with the Emmett. "So why dose no one sit with you?" I asked setting down my bag and sitting across from him. Emmett shrugged and fiddled with his pen for a moment before speaking. "People tend to think my family is kind of weird, so they just stay away." As soon as he said this, Alice Cullen came skipping into the room, with Ezra Cullen in tow. Alice said hello to the teacher before she came over to our desk, which happened to be in the back of the room, and plopped down in the seat beside me. "Hi! You must be Clara Reed, I'm Alice and this is Ezra." She smiled brightly at me while Emmett and Ezra tried to hold back their laughter. "Hi Alice, it's nice to meet you." I said a mere second before the bell rang and the teacher began to speak to the class. She pretty much told us we all had a week to turn in a drawing on how we feel about ourselves. That would be an interesting drawing.

I set to work along with Emmett and Ezra, but Alice just leaned back in her chair and shot a smile of trumpet towards Emmett. "If you had listened to me earlier you both wouldn't be doing this right now, but no one listen's to me." She smirked at Emmett who shot her a dirty look before turning towards me. "So Clara, why did you move down to Forks?" She asked in a chipper voice. I shrugged and lazily began to draw on my paper. "My Aunt got a job re-painting Forks Hospital and a few other places; I guess the Artist in her just couldn't let an offer like this go." I sighed frowning at the drawing and re-shading a few things here and there. "Oh really? Our father works at Forks Hospital." Ezra said leaning forward a bit and forgetting the paper in front of him. "Yeah, it started out as the Hospital just wanting her to re-paint the Children's Ward, but then she sent in more samples of her work, and so they offered to pay for all of the supplies and workers she would need if we moved down here. Then a few other people around town caught on to what the Hospital was planning, and they all hired her to fix up their stores and re-paint their houses after she was done with the Hospital." I looked up to see Ezra and Alice watching me closely.

My face flushed and I ducked my head back down to work on my drawing. "That's really cool, my mom is really into construction and she's helped rebuild some of the hospital, she'll be so happy when she finds out someone if going to paint it all." Alice said smiling brightly. Ezra nodded to himself while going back to his drawing and a peaceful silence settled over out table for the last twenty minutes of class before the bell rang and Alice promised to see me tomorrow.

I made it to my last class earlier then everyone else, and was able to claim a nice seat in the back by the window. I stared outside as the rain fell, losing track of time until the chair beside me was pulled out and someone sat down. I blinked and turned to look at the person I would most likely be working with for the rest of the year.

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated, I've been super busy! Anyway, The following people shall be thanked! **

** : Thank you for both of your reviews! You were the first person to actually review the story! I'm glad you like it so far! I really like the quotes at the beginning too, I feel like they sum up what the chapter will be about, and I figured it would be a good idea for Clara and Bella to meet from the start, I also plan on given Charlie some lovin, since no one ever does in their stories! **

**Blairx6661: Sorry I left this at a cliffy :D but Clara will meet Jasper in the next chapter, however I'm having a hard time on how I'm going to have him react to her, I've re-written the next chapter about four times now! **

** : Thank you for all of the smiley faces! :D Sorry it took so long to update!**

**GracefullyDarkend: Thank you and I'm sorry for the long wait!**

**RougeReaper: It's been really hard for me, since I like to envision each chapter as if I am there, watching the scene unfold, and for some reason I keep getting it wrong! I guess we'll all find out how Clara and Jasper meet in the next chapter :D**

**miramisa90212: Thank you for both of your reviews! And I'm so sorry for the wait!**

**tlc125: Thank you! I am personally really great at starting off a chapter, but it's the endings that kill me. **

**Kira L: Thank you! I really like that name, Kira, I might have to use it :)**

**Guest: Sorry! For the characters section I had put Jasper, Alice, Charlie, and Bella, because they are all going to be big parts of the story, but it only showed Jasper & Alice. I fixed it through!**

**Hannah: Thank you, I actually like it better in first person, because I like to envision myself in each chapter, and I can't do that properly if it's in third person. I also like Jasper's character because there is so much to work with :)**

**Thank you everyone who reviewed! All of you people who are following and adding the story to their favorites, thank you! Please keep reviewing everyone! Even if it's just a few words, it all helps! **


	4. Chapter Three: Heartbeat

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters other than my OC's **

**Note: I'm so sorry for the long wait! However, here is the chapter you all have been waiting for, the moment of truth, the first meeting. I plan to make this as different as all of the other Fanfictions out there, so bare with me, and please, tell me what you think! Enjoy. **

Chapter Three: A Heartbeat

"_There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what its saying."_

― Sarah Dessen

* * *

Blue eyes connected with topaz eyes, and that was it.

All at once, time stopped. All sound cut off with a snap, cutting everything that would have distracted the boy and me at the moment. I took in everything that was presented to me, everything that was offered, and then, my heart slammed against my rip cage. It was strange feeling, it hurt horribly, like someone had just shoved me back so violently that the air was knocked from my lungs, but perhaps that was what I needed, because all of the sudden, for the first time in a long time, I felt like my heart was beating again.

I watched as his eyes widened and he took in my features quickly, however it wasn't with the same gaze every other male had used that day when they looked me over, it wasn't like he was actually checking me out, instead it felt like he was looking _inside of me._

This boys gaze was different, and the look in his eyes, what was that? I stared up at him, my heartbeat picking up an alarming rate until it felt like it would burst from my chest at any second and fly across the room like a bird breaking free of its chains and taking flight for the first time in a long time.

The boys nose flared as he took in a deep breath, and then let it out, like he was breathing for the first time in a long time, and then, in slow motion, he reached up, and carefully brushed his fingers across my cheek. A chill shot up my spine as his frozen hand ghosted over my skin as if I were the most delicate thing in the whole world, like I was the most breakable being in the room. Normally, I had a no touch policy, I didn't like for people to be near me, to reach out and touch me as they pleased, I don't know why, it might have been because I was broken, but as his fingers gently caressed my skin, I felt a jolt that went through his own being into mine, I didn't mind his touch, if anything I welcomed it.

And then the moment was shattered with the loud, shrill ring of the bell.

His hand jerked back faster than the eye could see as all sound slammed back into me at once, unleashing a headache from hell. I blinked rapidly in confusion and quickly turned away from him, from Jasper Hale. I honestly couldn't explain what had just happened, but it didn't make any sense, at least not to me. As soon as we had turned away from one another, the feeling of my heart pounding into my rips vanished, and I felt empty once more, through there was still a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I was a little _less_ empty than I had been mere seconds ago.

After about twenty minutes of awkward silence between the two of us, Jasper turned towards me and spoke. "Hello, I'm Jasper Hale, you must be Clara?" His voice washed around me the sweetest scent I had ever smelled invaded my senses, making me light headed as I blinked in confusion. "Uhm…" I hummed and blinked a few times, trying to clear my senses as much as possible. I felt like I could get drunk off of his scent, was that strange?

"Y-yeah, I'm Clara, nice to meet you…Jasper." I offered one of my rare smiles, through it felt weak, it was by no means forced. He returned my smile with a dazzling one of his own, stunning me all over again and making my heart rate pick up and beat out of control once more.

"So Clara, what brings you to Forks?" He asked smoothly, making me openly gape at him. Was this man the definition of perfect? How in the world could a human be so perfect, so stunning and breath taking, it just didn't make sense.

"I moved here with my Aunt…" A pang of pain shot through my chest but I was expecting it, so the mask I kept up didn't crack, however, Jasper's face scrunched up in pain as if someone had just stabbed him in the hand with a pencil. That was the same look I used to have before I developed my mask.

I actually felt bad for him, I didn't like how the pain expanded across his face and made him clench his hands into fists, it was such as sad sight to see, it made me want to reach out and hold him until it went away, it made me want to make him feel better.

"Are you okay?" I asked carefully, reaching one of my hands out to rest it on his shoulder. The pale boy blinked a few times and then smiled at me, through it was slightly forced, it was a true smile, and it actually warmed my heart for the first time in a long time.

"I'm fine…are you?" More confusion for me on my part. Why would he ask if _I_ was okay, when he looked like the one who had been run over with a car? He's a strange a boy.

"I'm as fine as I've always been." I smiled before turning back towards the paper in front of me. I didn't lie, because I never really changed, I was always just 'fine' and when asked about how I was, I could always respond the same way. I didn't like lying to people, it just didn't feel right to me, no matter have necessary it may or may not be. I could feel his gaze on me as I worked silently, through Jasper's gaze didn't bother me as much as it should have, I felt safer and more…whole, with him sitting here beside me, it was actually comforting, but it ended as soon as the bell rung, and then he was gone.

I sat there for a minute, feeling dumb, and then numbly I stood up, and walked out of the room and to the front office, instead of the woman from earlier that day, a teenage girl stood behind a stack of paper, looking frustrated. She took my slip without a word, and then shooed me out of the office so she could get back to work.

I was slightly confused, at my old school; they had never allowed the students around such important papers, through it seemed they were much for trusting here. In the end I ended up in the parking lot, a few feet away from a waiting Bella. Correction, where an _angry _Bella was waiting. My eye brows rose up into my hairline as I approached carefully, unsure if she would try to bite my head off if I came up too quickly, through her anger quickly turned to a look of sadness. I frowned slightly but hurried across the nearly empty parking lot and towards Bella.

"Hey Bella, what's up?" I asked carefully while sliding I through the passenger door. Bella stared at the school for a moment longer, before he let out a loud sigh and got into the truck as well and starting it up so we could start warming up from the cold outside.

"Nothing." She snapped in return, making me flinch. I stayed silent for the short drive back to our houses, mostly because she looked like she was about to break out in a fit of tears, and I wasn't good with tears or crying people. Once the truck was parked, I got out and headed straight inside without a word. Both of us needed some time to think.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long! If I could say I had a really good reason for not updating in so long, but I really don't…yeah you guys can beat me up if you want, I just had a awful time getting this chapter up, the next one will come better, I just kept writing and erasing and then writing some more, it was, to put it briefly, hell. I'm sorry guy's and the next chapter will be up tomorrow! Thanks for all of the awesome reviews and please, keep it up! :D**

**TBC**


	5. Chapter Four: Memories

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters other than my OC's **

**Note: Sorry for the long wait! This is a kind of boring chapter, but there is some back story here! The story is going to start picking up in the next few chapters, I promise! Don't get bored with me yet!**

Chapter Four: Memories

"_The worst part of holding in the memories is not the pain; it's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared."_

― Lois Lowry

Once I was alone in my room – my Aunt wasn't home yet – I went straight for the bed. Last night I had unpacked nearly everything, but a few stray boxes still littered the ground. Bella had promised me that she would come over after school today and help me unpack everything else. It annoyed me horribly, having all of these stupid boxes lying around; I had to be extra careful not to run into any of them and fall of my face. Needless to say, paying attention to my surroundings after a long day was the last thing I wanted to do, but I didn't have much choice in the matter, it didn't want to leave an indent of my face on the ground.

The rain had picked up again, leaving me trapped inside for most likely the rest of the night. Even if I had my own car, who would want to drive in this kind of weather? I sighed quietly before pushing up off the bed and towards my desk, only having to move around four boxes as I went. On top of my desk sat my IPod and headphones. I often found myself listening to music before drifting off to sleep, or reading a book, I found it comforting and usually, it kept away the nightmares. After settling back onto my bed, headphones on and a soft sound blasting into my ears, I slowly allowed myself to drift off into sleep.

I opened my eyes to a familiar scene, vaguely aware somewhere in my sub-consciousness that I was dreaming. I was sitting on the porch with my mother; we were waiting for my dad to bring the car around so we could just hop in and get a move on. We were talking about getting a cat, I had always wanted a cat, but my dad was allergic.

The conversation ended as soon as the dark blue {car} came into view. We weren't heading anywhere important, and if we were, I don't remember where it was. All I can remember is the moment that blue truck rammed into my father's side of the car, killing him instantly. The car had flipped onto its side, skidded nearly ten feet, and then went up into the air. We spun around and around, and then slammed down harshly. We barely had time to blink before another car hit us straight on, making the car flip over once more so it was now upside down.

I couldn't breathe, my mother was screaming my name, telling me to get out of the car, and I followed her orders, I unhooked my seat belt and crawled out of the broken window, crawling through the shagged glass and sharp metal that sliced into my skin over and over again, I crawled a good four feet away before staggering up to my feet. I didn't even have time to turn around, the car exploded, and the blast sending me spiraling through the air and into the windshield of another car. Pain erupted across my body, I could feel the burn on my back and the cuts on my arms, legs, and head, but overall, I was barely injured.

It wasn't the pain from my wounds, it was the pain of having to watch both my parents die, I felt like someone had reached into my chest and ripped out my heart, I felt suddenly cold and empty, and with a jerk I was suddenly awake, on my bed, in my room, alone.

A cold sweat had covered my body and the scar on my head, hidden by my hairline, and the jagged scar on the calf of my right leg, ached, just like my heart. Sometimes, I was able to escape the nightmares and the memories, but it wasn't very often that I got away, that I could relax. The light from outside had vanished, leaving my room dark and cold. I sat up stiffly, still in my school clothes and shoes, and slowly made my way towards my bedroom door.

After showering and changing, I went back to bed, I didn't feel like talking to my Aunt, who was moving around down stairs, most likely making dinner, and I didn't feel like actually laying on my bed, so I instead I curled up on the cushioned window seat, and I fell into a peaceful sleep while gazing out at the dark yes surprisingly peaceful forest.

. . .

The next day, I awoke to silence.

In some ways, this was a good thing, there was no rain yet, through I could see from the window that everything was still slick was wetness from the rain yesterday; I figured this was going to be as dry and Forks could be.

To be honest, I was surprised I woke up on my own; I never set my alarm clock to night before, so I figured I would wake up like and have to rush around, instead I woke up a hour earlier and had plenty of time. My limbs were sore, but it was easy to ignore, I was used to pain. I focused on getting ready for the day. After taking a relaxing shower, and drying my hair until it was practically straight instead of curled, I went back into my room and changed into a long sleeved dark green turtle neck shirt and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans. After applying the same amount and make-up as yesterday, I hurried down the stairs to collect my school bag and shoes.

"Clara? Are you hungry?" Ellen smiled calmly at me as she came down from the stairs, clad in her night gown and slippers. I looked up and smiled sheepishly. I was actually hungry, but if I told her, she would go into a cooking fit, making pancakes and eggs and bacon – actually, the bacon didn't sound too bad – but I didn't want her to have to go through all of that trouble when I wouldn't even have time to sit down and enjoy her cooking like I would want to.

"Nah I'm okay, through Bella might be over for a little tonight," I grabbed a granola bar on my way to the door. "She said that she would help me unpack." I turned around and smiled at my Aunt, who did a double take and nearly choked. I guess it made sense; she hadn't seen me actually smile in a long time.

"O-okay, that's fine." She choked out, staring at me like I had just murdered five people, and the the sound of a horn going off in our drive-way made my smile widen slightly. "I have to go, I'll see you later Aunt Ellen." I called over my shoulder.

The drive passed in a blur, Bella seemed to be in a better mood than yesterday, once we got to the school she stayed by her truck, but I went off to buy a locker, I would need one with all of the homework they were giving me. After nearly five minutes of searching for the one locker out of hundreds, I found it and headed straight to first period. I was one of the first in, so today I took Emmett's seat by the window and pulled out my English textbook. I barely even noticed the class fill up or the bulky boy that sat down beside me, until he spoke.

"Hi." His voice boomed loudly around the class, making me me jump in my seat and several of the students around us stare. I blinked several times, trying to re-start my heart, before I replied in a much quieter voice. "Hey there Emmett, uh, what's up?" I raised an eyebrow slightly, clearly confused, I figured he wouldn't really talk to me, I figured none of the Cullen's would bother talking to me, not after what happened with Jasper yesterday.

"I just wanted to see what all the hype was about." He said grinning cheekily. I blinked before frowning in confusion. What was _that_ supposed to mean? I mentally shook my head and looked back down at my textbook. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I watched him lean towards me, and _sniff_ my _hair, _and then lean back in his seat, making a thoughtful 'hm' sound while I turned and stared up at him with wide eyes, vaguely wondering if he was mentally unstable.

"Sorry, I thought I smelt something…interesting…" He looked away for a long moment, a thoughtful look marring his features for a long moment before he turned back towards me and grinned sheepishly.

"It's alright…" I stared at him for a moment longer, before looking back down at my text book. The silence stretched on for a few more minutes before he decided that he didn't like the silence and felt that it was his job to keep up a conversation. If you ask me, Emmett was far too awake for such an early time in the morning, anyone else would have found his attitude annoying, but to me it was just kind of funny.

"So how is your second day in Forks High School going?" He turned back towards be and his grin widened, showing off perfectly white teeth. I suppose it was to be expected, someone that looked so perfect wouldn't have horrible teeth. It was interesting how similar all of the Cullen's and Hales looked, even when they all weren't related – through the Hales were related – it still didn't make very much sense, not to mention that one one has even thought to dwell on the hard facts.

"I'm not sure yet, honestly, too many people stare, but not as many as yesterday…I guess I could get used to it here, the rain doesn't really bother me like it does Bella." I chuckled weakly as I recalled how she had complained about how it was getting colder and wetter than she liked, I could tell it was driving her crazy, and that the rain had kept her up nearly all night.

Emmett's grin fell a little and he quickly looked away. "Yeah, I heard you hung out with her a lot." His tone suggested the slightest hint of dislike, which threw me off a bit, what reason could he have to hate Bella? Emmett seemed like such an easy going person, not someone who would hold a grudge.

"Well, we do live next to each other…" I shrugged and this time, the silence stretched on until the bell rang. The day passed as quickly as it had yesterday, I sat with Bella, Mike, Angela, Eric, Jessica and a few other people, whose name's I did not know, through I ended up skipping Art class by faking my way to a trip down to the nurse. I wish I could say that I wasn't being a coward, but when I noticed that Jasper wasn't at lunch, I didn't feel like facing his siblings.

The school day ended quickly, and in the end, Bella had to cancel on helping me unpack so she could go shopping and stock up on food, since Charlie had no talent in the cooking department, so she dropped me off at my house and chugged away in her ancient truck.

I couldn't help but wonder if this was how it would be everyday as a wandered into the empty house, went to my room, finish my homework, and went to bed without dinner. I had a feeling things here in Forks were going to be boring, but a small, tiny part in the back of my mind, disagreed whole heartily.

**A/N: Hey guys! So, I'm sorry for the long wait, but here it is! The next chapter is being edited and the **_**next**_** chapter is being written! Also, thank you all for the reviews! I love you all so much for sticking around this long and I'll be answering them all soon! **

**On a side note, I recently read a Fan-fiction where the author put little polls at the end of each chapter and you guys would answer if the reviews, so I might pick up this idea so you all can help me out with some tight spots in this story! If this first poll goes over good, I'm keep it up and try to get as much feedback from you all as possible! **

**So…here if my plan. Lost in Pain, is like Twilight. Yes, I plan to do all four, but I need help with the names, I'm kinda stuck, so I'm going to give you all some and tell me which ones you like, and if you have any of your own ideas, feel free to share! **

**Quick Poll: Which names do you like better?**

**For New Moon: **_**Lost in Darkness **_**or **_**Lost in Coldness**_

**For Eclipse: **_**Lost in Danger**_** or **_**Lost in Life**_

**For Braking Dawn: **_**Lost in Love**_** or **_**Lost in Time**_

**All of your own ideas! As long as it starts with 'Lost in-' I will add then to the lists!**


	6. Chapter Five: Darkness

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters other than my OC's **

**Note: Here is the next chapter! Things start to pick up here, so please, enjoy, and look for the Poll at the end!**

Chapter Five: Darkness

"_There are as many night as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness for the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."_

― Carl Jung

Despite my better judgment, I actually got back up when Bella rushed over to my house, pretty much dragged me into her kitchen, and forced me to help her cook dinner. I had only been asleep for an hour and a half, but she seemed content on waking me back up. Bella knew my Aunt didn't get home until nearly midnight, which meant unless I cooked dinner for myself, I would starve every night, which she didn't find acceptable.

"I don't care, you need dinner, you can go back to sleep after you've eaten," I chuckled as Bella ranted, through she was replying to all of her mom's E-mails, she wouldn't drop the subject until I agreed to start eating over at her house every night. She was a persistent, stubborn girl, but I could already tell we were going to end up with some strange sisterly bond; we just got along so well.

"Okay Bella, I promise I'll start eating the food you provide," I couldn't help the snicker that escaped. "Don't have a heart attack…is that your dad?" my eyebrows pulled together as the sound of a car pulling into her driveway reached us through the open window. Bella's eyes widened before she dropped her book – _Wuthering Heights – _and bolted from the room and down the stairs. I paused for a moment, before following at a much slower pace.

"What's for dinner?" Charlie's gruff voice made me pause half way down the stairs, slightly worried because of how wary he sounded. Bella wouldn't make anything…strange, I trusted her enough not to give me food poisoning, but his tone made me think twice and consider running back up the stairs, into Bella's room, and escaping through the window.

"Steak and potatoes," At the sound of her response I let out a sigh of relief before bounding down the last few stairs and into the kitchen, offering Charlie a small grin as I went.

"Oh, hey there Clara, did Bella drag you here?" His eyebrows were drawn together while Bella shot a withering look at his back, I couldn't help the small chuckle that broke free. I was finding it easier and easier to relax and not act so…empty, around the Swan family.

"Oh no, Bella would _never_ force me to come over for dinner, I just thought it would be fun to eat your guy's food for the next few weeks." Charlie matched my grin with his own before walking into the livening room while Bella rolled her eyes at us, most likely thinking we both acted like naughty children with too much sarcasm.

"Will you make the salad, Clara?" Bella eyed me, most likely wondering if I could even put a pop-tart in a toaster correctly – which I could – before going over to make sure the stakes didn't burn. It didn't take long for me to through together a salad, but by the time I was done she already had the rest of dinner made and the table set. Within a short fifteen minutes, Charlie was walking back into the kitchen and sniffing the air while hungrily ogling the stakes.

"Smells good, Bell." He grabbed a plate from the table and set to work.

"Thanks." Bella smiled slightly before she set to work making her own plate. We ate in silence for a few short minutes. It wasn't uncomfortable because none of us was bothered by the silence; I guess we were all suited for it. Charlie seemed as awkward and quiet as Bella, and I pretty much could have passed for his daughter too, because I was just as awkward and quiet as both of them, it was peaceful, the silence.

"So how did you two like school? Have you made any friends?" He looked eagerly between the two of us, and suddenly, for a short second, I could picture myself as part of their family, I could forget the pain of my own parent's deaths, and I could pretend that I was also Charlie's daughter and Bella's sister, I could pretend I had a real family, maybe that's why I was so much more _alive_ around the two of them.

"We have a few classes together, and I have a few classes with this girl named Jessica. We sit with her and her friends during lunch. And there's this boy, Mike, who's very friendly. Everybody seems nice." I couldn't help but roll my eyes, Mike was only so friendly to Bella because he wanted to be more than friends with her, I was pretty sure she could tell.

"That must be Mike Newton. Nice kid – nice family. His dad owns the sporting goods store just outside of town." I zoned out for a short second. I wasn't all that interested in Mike's family, another family in Forks had caught my full attention, and from Bella's next question, I could tell we were on the same page.

"Do you know the Cullen family?" She hesitated before asking, I nearly choked on my sip of water before I shot her a look, vaguely wondering which Cullen she was interested in.

"Dr. Cullen's family? Sure. Dr. Cullen's a great man." Charlie focused back on his dinner as I raised an eyebrow at Bella. She shrugged; clearly she wanted as much information on the Cullen's as her father could provide, which meant she wasn't going to give up quite yet.

"They…the kids…are a little different. They don't fit in too well at school." I winced. There was a storm brewing on Charlie's side, I could tell this was a touchy subject with him. It was clear the Cullen's were different, and people didn't _like_ different, defiantly not in a small town, they were bound to stand out, to be treated like outsiders, it wasn't fair, but it was how things were in this world.

"People in this town," He muttered, and I quickly focused on anything but Charlie as he went into a long, horrible rant about how everyone should be grateful towards the Cullen's, and how all of the children from that family were saints in the making, and how they act like a _real _family – whatever _that_ means – and how people should just stop bothering them.

It was the longest thing I've ever heard Chief Sawn say, and from the look on Bella's face, she was also surprised by his rant. It was oddly refreshing, to see him so mad about some so idle. It clearly meant he felt for the Cullen's and that maybe, they weren't half bad people.

Bella backtracked quickly, not wanting to get on his bad side. "They seemed nice enough, right Clara?" I blinked, briefly wondering if she was throwing me under the bus, but quickly jerked my head in a 'yes' motion. "I – we – just noticed they kept to themselves…they're all very attractive." I bit my tongue, holding in the sudden burst of laughter that threatened to escape.

"You should see Dr. Cullen," Charlie was laughing, so I joined. Bella kicked me under the table. "It's a good thing he's happily married." I couldn't help but keep the humor from my voice as I spoke; it was just kind of funny that we were talking about an attractive family with Charlie over dinner.

"I wonder how any of those nurse focus on their work with him around." I snickered.

"They don't." Charlie laughed louder, and after awhile Bella joined in, and we all sat there, laughing like idiots, until Charlie scurried off to watch the game, seemingly in a much better mood than earlier, and Bella and I were left to clean up the kitchen.

After we finished cleaning up, I ended up bunking with Bella at her house for the night, we shared her small bed and in the morning I headed back over to my own house to get ready for school. I was surprised to find a seemingly fun routine in the making. The rest of the week was kind of boring, but I found myself happier than I had been in years, I got used to how things worked at the Swan house, and ended up spending almost every night in a mini sleepover with Bella. It was peaceful, but all good things must come to an end.

Both Edward Cullen and Jasper Hale never came back, but I found it easier to speak with their siblings, well, three out of four, I basically refused to approach Rosalie Hale, who shot Bella glares and sometimes stared at me like she could see _through _me, like I was glass instead of a person.

It freaked me out, but I never said anything, I never even bothered to ask the other Cullen's where their siblings had run off too, I just kept to myself. I had noticed the looks that would all shoot me when they thought I wasn't looking, they acted like I was a puzzle that needed to be figured out, it was un-nerving, but I ignored it all and pretended to be clueless.

By Friday, I was used to not having Jasper Hale in my last period, I was used to spending the night with Bella and eating dinner with Charlie, I was used to only seeing my Aunt on the weekends. Part of me realized that being around other people was helping me, but not fixing me, at night the nightmares still haunted me, I couldn't escape the past. I never would be able to forget.

The weekend passed without a hitch, I ended up helping Bella clean her house, and then she came over and not only helped clean my house, but helped me unpack the last of my belongings. My Aunt joined in on dinner at the Swan house over the weakened, and bonded quickly with Charlie, I think it's because they both love sports with a passion.

On Monday morning, people greeted us both, Bella knew most of them, through I didn't, and I followed her example and returned their waves and smiles. In English, Emmett seemed to be in a much better mood than last week, he was bouncing up and down in his seat as if he was waiting for something, through I wasn't sure what for.

"Hey, will you walk with me after class?" He grinned down at me, and I was suddenly suspicious, I felt like he was planning something, but I couldn't be sure. I quickly shock the feeling, and nodded in agreement.

"If you insist," I sighed dramatically, and his grin widened. As we walked out of class, down the hall and outside, I stopped short. What was _that?_ Was that _snow?_ I looked towards Emmett, to ask if I was dreaming, but a cold, wet, glob of snow slammed into my face, making me stumble back in surprise before whipping off my face.

"You sneaky little-"I was cut short by another snow ball flying towards me, but I quickly ducked down and gathered some of my own snow.

"Come here!" I yelled, chasing after Emmett who was booming with laughter. I threw the snow towards him, but missed by a long shot. Before I could blink, another glob of snow was soaring through the air, but not towards me, towards an un-expecting Emmett, and slammed into his own face, knocking him backwards onto his butt. I burst into a fit of laughter as a smug Alice and an amused Ezra approached.

"Serve's you right," Ezra mumbled. "Showing off like that, it's bad karma." He grinned down at the glaring Emmett, through Alice was looking at me oddly. I raised an eyebrow and looked down at myself. I wasn't sure what she was staring at, I was wearing a pair of plain blue jeans, a black T-shirt, and my grey jacket. It was a basic outfit, nothing worthy of her golden gaze.

"Do you own anything other than jeans and T-shirts? Why don't I ever see you in a nice dress, or a skirt?" For someone so small, she sounded so…threatening; I was suddenly worried there was a makeover coming my way.

"You want me to wear a dress in _this_ weather? It's snowing Alice!" I shook my head. "When I can see the sun, you'll see me in a dress." Alice's frown deepened before it morphed in a large grin that made me suddenly fear for my closet's life.

"I won't forget that you said that." Alice giggled and I visibly shrunk back, I felt like I had just sold my soul to the devil.

"I'm going to go ahead and go to class."I shot them all a sheepish smile before scurrying away; I honestly didn't feel like being attacked by anymore snow balls at the moment. During lunch Mike was planning an awesome snow ball show down and Bella was planning to run to her truck as fast as possible to avoid it. The rest of the day ended quickly, I was used to now sitting alone in my last class, so I wasn't expecting to walk into the class and see Jasper Hale sitting there.

I paused in the doorway, my heart involuntarily picking up speed. I hadn't expected to see hm again, I figured his brother and himself had switched to home school or something. Nervously, I slowly made my way over to my normal seat beside Jasper and beside to window. I tried not to stare at him again, the last time I had been in this class beside him, well it had just been weird, I couldn't help but feel awkward now, through as soon as the feeling was there, it was gone and replaced with a strange calmness.

"Hello Clara." His voice was smooth and velvety, placing me in a temporary trance before I quickly pulled myself together. It was hard through, trying to focus on something _other_ than his perfectly sculpted face like looked like it belonged to an Angel.

"Hi…" My voice sounded weird, I cleared my throat. "Uh…How are you?" Yup, definitely awkward, Jasper chuckled, clearly amused by me, it was almost like he could _tell _I feltawkward.

"I'm good, thanks…how about you? Do you like Forks so far?" He was smiling…he had a nice smile.

"It's good, rainy, but still a nice town." I shrugged and looked down at the book in front of me. It was nice here in Forks, I hadn't felt so alive since my parents died, for some reason Forks was bringing the old me back, the only problem was I wasn't sure if I wanted to come back or not.

"Why did you move here?" His question was abrupt; it startled me for a second. Why did I really move here? Part of me wanted to believe it was because my Aunt wanted to move here, because she wanted to help the town, but in reality I think it had something to do with the fact that I was so dead, we just had to move. If we didn't, I would have really died.

"My Aunt got a job and…" I paused; I suddenly felt the need to tell him everything. "I live with her, so I didn't have much of a choice." I cleared my throat again. We were getting to dangerous ground, if it could be avoided, I wouldn't talk about my parents at all, but in a small town like this, the question wouldn't – couldn't – be avoided.

"What about your parents?" Ah there it was. A pang a pain hit right through my chest, making me wince slightly like I had a heart attack. I was vaguely used to the pain, but I still turned my head towards the window so he wouldn't think the question had bothered me. If I had been looking at him, I would have seen the way his golden eyes flashed with pain, but I didn't.

"Their…gone." I coughed, trying to hide the fact that my voice broke on the last word.

"I'm sorry…my parents are gone too." His voice was smooth, but quiet, in a strange way, it was soothing, comforting, like he understood the pain I was feeling. That was strange, I wasn't used to people being so…nice. I was used to no one understanding, people didn't tend to pick up on your emotions when you didn't want them too.

I had almost forgotten that all of the Cullen's and Hale's were foster kids, they didn't have any parents until Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen adopted them. At least they had Foster parents through. All I had was my Aunt; I would never have parents again. It was a sullen thought.

"I'm sorry; about your parents…how long have you been with the Cullen's?" I finally turned back towards Jasper; he was staring intently at me, like he was trying to understand something. It confused me a bit, but there was something else in his gaze, it made me relax, I felt safe.

"I've been with them for a few years; the first one's Carlisle and Esme adopted were Edward, Emmett and Ezra. A year later they adopted Alice, and then they adopted my sister and me." He smiled as if remembering some fond memory; I suddenly felt happy too, it was nice.

"Are you happy? I mean, with your adopted family?" I smiled slightly, and as if he couldn't resist, he smiled a dazzling smile back at me.

"I'm very happy with my family, all of us are, even my sister, through it wasn't her first choice…she would rather still be with our parents, but I don't think I've ever been happier." He smiled down at me again, and my heart fluttered painfully in my chest, reminding me that I was in fact alive.

"What about you? Are you happy, Clara?" He leaned towards me slightly, seemingly very interested in my answer. I was, once again, taken by surprise. I wasn't sure if I was happy, I probably wasn't, someone who was in so much pain shouldn't be happy, it wasn't right, it wasn't fair. I guess there always had to be an even balance in the world, an even balance of Happiness and Sadness. I was on the side of Sadness, but it seemed everyone else was on the side of Happiness, maybe my pain was so great it evened out the balance. Now wouldn't to be an ironic twist, maybe I was truly alone.

"Yes, I am." I lied smoothly, but from the look he gave me, I had a feeling he could see right through me. Jasper smiled slightly, but didn't say anything else, four minutes later, the bell rang, and the school day ended. Jasper left as soon as the bell rang, and I headed outside towards the truck. The snow had washed away, so all of Mike's big plans for a snow ball fight were ruined.

However, in place of the snow, was ice still slick from the rain. I hadn't through much of it at the moment, I suppose I was trying to focus on not falling, but if I had been paying attention to everything around me, I would have seen the van coming. Instead, I heard the loud screech of metal on pavement, a hush and a chill spread over the parking lot as my frozen body turned slowly towards the blue van skidding towards me.

I was vaguely aware that Bella was already to the truck behind me and that once the van had crushed me, it was crush her too. We were both going to die.

My breath hitched as my eyes widened, I wanted to scream, but no noise came out. Everything was moving in slow motion, and I couldn't move, I was frozen in place. And then, everything changed.

A hard body crashed into my own, knocking me to the ground in one swift movement. Two rock hard, cold, stone like arms helped lesson my landing, but they were too slow to stop the impact of my head on the ground. A freezing body pressed flush up against my own, forcing me to lay as close to the icy ground as possible while the person above me lay as close to _me_ as possible.

Somehow, during all of this, I managed to keep my eyes open. I watched in awe as the van started to pass right _over_ us, the bottom of it brushing against the person above me, the strange noise of metal and marble scraping together filled my ears, and then it was gone as fast as it had came.

Some part of my mind heard the sound of the truck and the van slamming together, heard the sound of metal denting, but no sound of crushing bones or spilling blood. The rest of my mind was focused on the being above me.

Jasper Hale had one hand on my waist, pushing it against the ground, and used his other hand – which had been holding my shoulders down – to slowly prop himself up so he was leaning over my still form.

Jasper had saved me from appending doom.

Jasper had saved me from death.

Jasper had saved my life.

Jasper had been _nowhere near me_.

I stared stupidly up at him as his golden eyes quickly scanned over my form, checking for any injuries, before he leaned forward and frowned. I frowned back, still confused at the moment, and slightly dizzy.

"You've hit your head." It wasn't a question. Gasps and screams started to fill the parking lot, people screaming Bella's name, people screaming my name, and I didn't hear any of it, I was too lost in Jasper, he was much too captivating for his own good.

"Hi." I said dumbly, my voice hoarse, a small, confused smile spreading across my face. He stared at me for a moment, emotions flickering through his eyes quickly before he slowly returned my smile with a much more dazzling one of his own.

"You're an interesting one." He chuckled before moving the cold hand that held down my waist to cradle my head carefully. My mind was just starting to register the pain and the sticky warm substance on the back of my head. Normally the smell of my blood would have started to turn my stomach, would have brought me back to reality, but his sweet smell of honey suckle and earth kept me at bay in my dazed state.

"No one is dead, right?" I asked trying to clear my head, through it was harder than I had expected, how could I clear my head of the Angel that had saved me when he was hovering right above me?

"No one is dead." He said chuckling slightly before slowly helping me to sit upright, using his body for me to lean on. He was hard and cold, like a rock, through it was oddly comforting.

"So I'm not dead?" He shook his head. "And you're not an Angel?" Jasper shook his head again, a light laugh escaping his lips. I allowed myself to relax, his laugh _sounded_ like the jingle of perfectly made bells, bells that would ring before you entered havens gates, the laugh of an angel - it was absolutely and completely beautiful.

"If you're so sure…" I mumbled leaning back slightly in his hold and allowing the daze to take over me completely. I blocked out all of the screams and shouts, I blocked out the sirens and the paramedics, through I did hear Jasper say he would ride with me to the hospital, I was dead to the world until we got to the hospital, and then reality caught up with me.

I had almost died the same way my parents had died.

**A/N: Ohmygoodness! Twenty-three reviews? Twenty-three favorites? **_**Thirty-three follows?! **_**Don't mind me; I'm just going to go faint in that corner over there. I never, **_**never **_**thought I would have so many readers, I feel a slight confidence boost on the way!**

**Anyway, this chapter ended pretty well if you ask me, I like the humor, it lay's a perfect setting for the boom at the end. Also, thank all of you who answer the poll! You all are awesome, and I swear I'll get around to answering Reviews! I'm not ignoring you all! **

**New Poll:**** Who is your favorite male Vampire from Twilight? **

**A . **_**Jasper, duhhh**_

**B . **_**Carlisle! Who could hate him?!**_

**C . **_**Edward of course!**_

**D . **_**Emmett! Just look at dem muscles!**_

**E . **_**Other…**_

**Go ahead and say that if you don't like one of the Cullen boy's what other vampire you like, maybe you like Aro? Or maybe Alec? Common! I wanna know! **


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